What am I THINKING???

so, i've been doing what people have soo kindly told me is
"making my girls carnival/circus nursery awesome!"
but sometimes, a lot of time, i just look at it and think;

"oh my INsane brain. are Lucy & Sky going to be able to sleep in this chaos that i'm thinking is fun and artistic"?
and THEN
i tell a darling, sweet friend from etsy that i'm more than happy to make 4 custom order hats (seen below) for her BEAUTIFUL family and here i am a million days later still sewing in the ends?!?!?!

Monica, I LOVE YOU.

your patience is INcredible and i promise to add goodies to your bag o' hats
and i promise- THEY ARE COMING!

and THEN
there are these 2 munchkins. my girls (below, wayyyy down there after my ramblings)
did they really live inside my tummy for 38 weeks? did that really happen? do i really have 9 month old girls? is my mom really so giving of herself and of her time to be LIVING with us and taking care of meals and doing laundry and cleaning my house AND helping to RAISE THESE CHILDREN?
seriously?

this cannot be real
and i beat myself up for so many things
and my mom tells me "YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOM!"
and THEN
i reopen my etsy shop
because i NEED to stop decorating the carnival nursery... but i NEED a creative outlet!
and then my friend Abby posts this link to a blog article on Facebook, which i am SOO bad at tending to it's silly, and i am in AWE of this paragraph
this paragraph about moms being perfect
and it goes like this:
"Somehow in the mixed up media world we've got these thoughts of moms being perfect. Society doesn't give us a break. I mean read this article in the New York Times about the pressure on moms to look a certain way after they give birth. And then? Then we're to be ultra creative, crafty, humorous, happy, chipper, up before dawn, to sleep after dark, with our sinks shined, and the laundry folded, and tomorrow's breakfast in the crockpot, with tomorrow's dinner - pulled from our once-a-month cooking thawing in the fridge, while we work out for 20 minutes on odd days and 40 minutes on even days, and our hair is always done, we're makeup ready, our fridges are stocked, and the craft closet bursting with ideas for that quick perfect afternoon art project that we'll place on our recycled wood and mod podged adorned hand painted chalkboard."and i am laughing
and re-reading it
over and over and over
but i gotta get back to the hats.
because really, they should have been done about 2 weeks ago

(paragraph from this article. go read it. it's awesome!)

XOX, rachel, a mom who is NOT failing;)